Category: wellness

A farewell and a fresh start

Posted on by Suzy Taylor Oakley
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It’s been a crazy week, and it promises to be a busy weekend. A few highlights:

NEW JOB

Thursday was my last day at First Community Bank, where I had worked since moving back to Batesville in 2010. It was a tough decision because it’s a great place to work, but I’m going back to another awesome company, Edward Jones, so all is well. I was working at one of the North Little Rock branches of Jones when Bruce and I decided to move to Batesville, so I already know that it’s a fabulous place to work. Only the location and the boss-man have changed. Plus, I’ll be working with another office administrator instead of being the only one (this is very helpful when I need a bathroom break – someone to cover the phones for a minute, right?).

CLEAN EATING

Monday will be a new beginning (again), so I’m using it as an opportunity to restart my aborted Whole30 challenge. I started it in August and had been on the plan two weeks when I had a weekend conference out of town, and, people let me tell you, conference food is typically not Whole30-friendly. I tried, but by Saturday night I had caved (when we ate at a German restaurant).

It may be a little crazy to try to start a clean-eating plan the same day I start a new job, but I have a couple of things in my favor:

  • I’ve done Whole30 before.
  • I’ve worked for this company before.

I’m choosing to look at Monday morning as a fresh start on all counts.

Also, if I wait any longer, what will fall in the middle of the schedule? Thanksgiving and my birthday.

If I start Monday (Oct. 26), the 30-day plan will end two days before Thanksgiving, so I’ll be able to reintroduce a food type the day before the big holiday. I think I’m going to start with grains and save dairy for last.

This isn’t about losing weight (although I certainly do need to lose the weight I’ve regained recently). This is about clearing up some minor health issues that are dragging me down. I’ll tell you about those over the next month.

One thing I won’t do: journal this daily on the blog, as I had planned to do last time. Ugh – what was I thinking?

I’ll give you weekly recaps.

THE MAGIC OF TIDYING

Also to come: recaps on my decluttering project around the house. I wrote about my bedroom closet declutter in July, and I’ve been struggling to find the time and energy to finish the bedroom. I gave away a ton of books, so my big bookcase isn’t about to collapse anymore, but I still have to sort through the dresser contents and make some donations to the new resale shop in town. (I’ll tell you about Hidden Treasures soon.) And then there’s the kitchen. Don’t make me talk about that today; our kitchen is poorly laid out – nothing I can do about that right now – and I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to organize it. It stresses me out. Our two office workspaces will be last (unless I still need to procrastinate about the kitchen).

I also owe you a couple of book reviews, but I was waiting to present those until I finished the whole-house declutter. But, in case you’re interested in reading these life-changing books in advance, they are:

PROJECT STIR

One final thing: I realized after Monday’s post that I had already talked a lot in the previous post about Project STIR. But I hope you’ll forgive me for one more mention, because Sarah’s fundraising deadline is a week away and I hope you’ll consider making a small donation. This is such an awesome project, and your donation will help Sarah tell families’ stories through their recipes. Heck, she’ll even let you write about your own beloved family recipe if you want to. Watch the 3-minute video (so sweet – a young woman learning a recipe from her Mamaw), then scroll down to the Kickstarter section, click and donate. Sarah will be so appreciative of your help!

RECOVERING PERFECTIONIST …

I wrote all of this in a hurry because I have to head over to Mom’s to watch a football game, so forgive any typos.

Go, Hogs! And …

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A look behind the curtain

Posted on by Suzy Taylor Oakley
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HealTheWoundQuotePOGTransparentIt’s been two months since I posted on To Well With You, and I figured it was about time I let you know what I’ve been up to.

I’ve been posting – just not on this particular blog.

Every week in September, I guest posted at the Arkansas Women Bloggers site (I was Blogger of the Month, and here’s one of my posts, called “The Power of Community.”) I’ve posted a few times at my “big sister blog,” Suzy & Spice (the one I’ve been publishing since 2007). That included an ambassador post for Project STIR, something my friend Sarah launched last month to highlight family recipes around the globe. My family recipe was Nanny’s pickles, and my cousins and I had a grand time with our memories and some old photos. Sarah also is spotlighting each of her ambassadors on her own blog. (Check out my spotlight here.)

And I’ve been doing a lot more than blogging, but I won’t bore you with the mundaneness of that.

To be honest, the real reason I haven’t posted here in two months is that I’ve been all up in my head, trying to figure out a few things.

I’m a little clearer on some things now, and I want to share what’s been going on in there (in my head).

FOCAL POINTS

I had been focusing too much on figuring out the best ways to make money with my writing and editing, with wellness coaching, with whatever.

Someday I want to have the freedom to work for myself, but in the meantime I want to be able to pay off mortgages (ours and my mom’s house, which Bruce and I bought from her), medical bills and credit card balances (partly as a result of medical bills). I have a full-time job, and all the extra stuff in my life has to happen before or after 8-5.

I hate having debt. I teach people how to get free from debt and live financially free, and I feel like a huge hypocrite for having monthly payments.

Also, Bruce and I like to be generous as much as we can, and we’d like to be able to help more people and causes with our income.

So my focus has been on 1) figuring out how to make more money, 2) spending time with Mom and Bruce and 3) surviving.

I had a crisis of confidence. I was trying to learn how to “monetize my blog” while remaining true to my stated purpose: helping people recognize and fulfill their God-given purpose in the world.

Somewhere along the way I started listening to the voices (some inside my head, some from other “advisers”) that said I couldn’t tell it like it is. That I couldn’t let you see me sweat. I should be an expert, no chinks in the armor.

While being “authentic.”

For me, authentic means I have to let you see behind the curtain. Just like the great and powerful Oz, I’ve been back there pulling levers, pushing buttons, spinning wheels … trying to make it all work.

But, unlike the Wizard of Oz, I want to draw back the curtain and let you see.

TELL ME THE TRUTH

If you’ve known me for more than 30 seconds, you know I like to cut to the chase. Euphemisms and flowery talk give me a headache. I want you to tell me the truth – straight up, no chaser.

That’s how I’m most comfortable communicating, and it’s how I like for people to speak to me. Tell me the truth … in a loving and respectful way, of course … but just tell me the truth.

Until a few days ago, I had been tied up in knots about how to move forward.

But, as Providence would have it, I’ve been enjoying some really good input lately, in the form of great books and a phenomenal online summit. I listened to some good truth-tellers – people who are successful despite (because of?) their habit of being open, authentic and vulnerable. (I like that a lot better.)

My friends, the entire reason I started this blog, the reason I got a wellness-coaching certification, the reason I’m brave enough to write this, is that I think I have a few relevant things to say to you.

Because I’m a mess. A work in progress.

Because God’s not finished with me yet.

Because this diamond-in-the-rough has figured out a few things that I think might help others. Some of my rough edges are starting to become smoother, stroke by stroke of the Master’s hand.

I’M WEIRD FOR A REASON

I used to ask God why He made me this way. I now believe it’s 1) because I’m unique, and that’s by design, and 2) so that I can help others. So that I can say, See, I overcame this, and I don’t think you’re so weird, but if you need to work on some things I’m here to walk beside you – to talk you down off the ledge, if you’re on one.

God took an excruciatingly shy little girl – one with hang-ups, fears, doubts and small thinking – and spoke His words of truth into her heart, gave her the will to change, and told her that her ability to overcome her hang-ups and fears and be a confident, bold woman could help others by example.

Every day, He still whispers His truths to me (on the days he’s not having to smack me upside the head and SHOUT them).

So, whether I make a dime with my coaching or freelance writing/editing or whether this remains a part-time gig just for evenings and weekends, I’m here to let it all hang out and hope that my policy of speaking truth in love gives you a safe place to be yourself, to work through your stuff, no matter whether your “stuff” is big or small.

I leave you with one of my favorite Point of Grace songs, “Heal the Wound.” Listen to the words.

If any of these words – mine or the songwriters’ – strike a chord with you, please share this post and ask a friend to subscribe. Share online, email someone … just share. It’s free. 🙂

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A Whole30 days of clean eating: It’s a gut feeling

Posted on by Suzy Taylor Oakley
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Whole30QuoteA year ago I was off sugar and grains, and I felt better than I had felt in a long time.

Over the past 18 months, I’ve read so much about inflammation and the things that cause it – sugar being one of the main culprits – that it didn’t take much convincing for me to start following the No Sugar No Grains philosophy. I read a book and listened to a podcast explaining the benefits of following the guidelines: avoid simple sugars, limit natural sugars (don’t overdo the fruit juice, for example); don’t consume grains, including corn, rice and wheat; and stick to complex carbs in limited quantities.

That plan made sense after some of the books I read (I’ve read a lot of them) and the dietitian I follow, and I kept up with it and the NSNG creator, Vinnie, on his podcast – until I just couldn’t stomach the vulgarity on his podcast for one more day.

By the time I quit listening to the podcast, I had already fallen off the wagon, and now I’m a carb addict again. (One little slip can send you down a slippery slope if you’re not careful.) I do order Vinnie’s multivitamin online, though, because I trust him when he says it’s pure: no fillers, no artificial ingredients, all that stuff. And the price is great.

So when a blogger friend posted a few days ago that she was about to start the Whole30, I was skeptical, but because I trust her judgment I decided to check it out. I had never heard of Whole30, but I visited the website and really liked what I saw.

It was No Sugar No Grains with one addition (or subtraction, if you will): no dairy.

Gulp.

I come from a long line of milk drinkers. In fact, I liked the No Sugar No Grains plan because I could have milk. The Taylors LOVE milk with a passion that is so strong I can hardly explain it to you. Like the sun’s gravitational pull on the earth. That strong.

So, even though the NSNG proponents cautioned that I might do better without dairy, I just wasn’t willing to give up milk.

That was then; this is now.

Many of the Taylors are overweight and, worse, unhealthy. That gravitational pull is enough to get me to rethink my milk obsession.

Starting today, I’m giving Whole30 a whole 30 days to see if milk contributes to some of my problems: seasonal allergies (“seasonal” for me meaning 365 days a year), eczema, my self-diagnosed “silent reflux,” trouble controlling my weight, and any number of other things that might be improved with a cleaned-up diet.

I don’t like “diets” in general, for various reasons, but this one is really just an elimination plan that the creators consider a “reset” for your gut and your body. Get all the junk out and see how your body responds. See how well you sleep, whether your diabetes or your blood pressure or your hormone function improves, whether mood and mental clarity take a positive leap.

You can read the testimonials on the Whole 30 website, and, let me tell you, friends, this is the best “diet” website I’ve ever seen. The founders of this plan are transparent, forthright and not “sales-y,” as far as I’ve seen. They lay out exactly what to expect, and they include a printable PDF that boils it down to four pages. I also started reading their book It Starts With Food ($9.99 on Kindle; audio version also available) on my lunch break today, and I like their approach.

One more thing: When I’ve “dieted” in the past, I regret that I’ve never journaled what was happening to my mind and my body before, during and after. Remembering to sit down and write in a notebook is just hard.

My solution: My journal will be public, and it will be part of this blog. No way can I forget to post it here. 🙂

Don’t worry – I plan to keep it short and simple, just the broad strokes. I want to be able to say things like:

Thursday, the day before I started, I ate too much trail mix and drank too much diet Coke because I looked at it as my “last hurrah” before starting the plan.

It’s kinda silly now that I see it on paper.

If you look over the Whole30 site and decide you want to join me, leave a comment or email me at suzy@suzyoakley.com. We’ll take the journey together.

I’ve been through this before, and I can almost guarantee you’ll thank me at the end of your 30-day experiment. You’ll learn things, and you’ll feel better.

Let’s do this!

(Note: In case you were wondering, no one paid me, urged me or even asked me to mention any of the products I wrote about today.)

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How to stay true to your mission when you’re tired or weary

Posted on by Suzy Taylor Oakley
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GandhiQuoteWhen you purport to be a coach, a teacher or a mentor (of anything), it’s tempting to let everyone believe you’re a strong, infallible and powerful superhero, no chinks in the armor, ever.

I used to be that person. No, not strong, infallible and powerful, but someone who wished she could come across that way to the world (remember, recovering perfectionist here).

But if I were trying to advise you in how to do something (or stop doing something), wouldn’t it be better if I could relate to the challenges you face, and better still if I had gone through those challenges (or similar ones), myself? Whether I had succeeded the first time or failed 1,000 times and finally figured it out, you’d be more likely to come to me for advice … or at least for empathy, right?

Sometimes a “superhero” needs to just be real.

Sunday, we had a visiting missionary in our church services. He has written before on his blog about how missionaries are expected (by some) to be perfect saints, and, in fact, some missionaries try to perpetuate that myth. The tendency is to think you can’t show vulnerability or you’ll turn people off to Christianity. After all, isn’t following Jesus supposed to make our lives rosy and perfect?

Well, no.

In John 16:33 (NLT), Jesus said, “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” He never said life would be perfect; He said he’d never leave us to face life alone (Deuteronomy 31:6).

Our missionary friend knows this truth. In fact, his wife and daughter couldn’t be with us Sunday because they were with his wife’s family, grieving the unexpected loss of his father-in-law a week earlier. And Sunday evening, he told us that he had just gotten a call from his mother; she and his dad were meeting with hospice the next day because his dad is dying of cancer and the end is that close.

IT IS WELL

There is plenty to be weary about, but this missionary friend told us, “It is well.” He knows where his source of strength comes from, and it is not from striving and trying and wearing himself out in an effort to attain perfection. As he told us Sunday morning, Jesus didn’t come to heal the well, but the sick.

The missionary’s wife has written beautifully, too, about the struggles they face on the mission field and, heck, just as human beings living in a broken world.

I use the word beautifully a lot when I share others’ words, and the common denominator – the thing that causes it to be beautiful to me – is that the speaker is letting herself or himself be vulnerable.

Authentic.

Imperfect.

Real.

I’m writing about being real today because I’m tired and I want to let you know about it. I know my mission, but lately the path to fulfilling it has seemed to take a lot out of me. I’m learning a lot, but some weeks I feel as though I take two steps forward and one step back. I’m working on learning how to discern the essential from the nonessential, but figuring that out is not easy or simple.

The one below – picking out a birthday card for my mom last week – was an essential. Waiting until the day of … not the wisest decision. But I allowed hubby to help, and he picked out a beautiful card for her. (I think I’ll keep him.)

TextMsgScreenShot073115HOW TO STAY ON MISSION

Here are 10 things you (and I) can do to stay on mission when you’re tired or weary – or when life is just plain hard:

  1. Be honest. Don’t try to hide the fact that you’re hurting. Talk to a trusted mentor. Ask for prayer from your circle of friends. You don’t have to go into all the gory details, but share what’s on your heart. We were made for community. Reach out.
  2. Take a break. If you can’t take a full-blown vacation, escape for just a day, or even an hour. This will help refresh your mind and your body. If you can do this on a small scale every day or week, even better.
  3. Spend some time examining the things that got you to this point. Don’t think about it for five minutes and quit; really reflect on what’s going on in your life.
  4. Remember your “why” (aka “look at the Big Picture”). Have you figured out your mission – your purpose? If not, get in touch with me or a trusted mentor to help you through the process. Remembering your why is probably the most important thing on this list. I have it as a reminder on my idea board, in notebooks, on my bathroom mirror and as a hashtag when I post a workout to my running app. Remembering my “why” carries me a long way when I’m tired or wondering why I’m doing this.
  5. Decide what’s important. Figure out what is essential for you to fulfill your purpose and what is not.
  6. After thinking through what’s important, focus on the No. 1 thing on the list. Get rid of what isn’t essential to your mission, with the realization that you cannot do everything. (I’ll be writing a review of the book Essentialism as soon as I finish reading it – so much great advice.) Last weekend, our missionary friend’s wife and daughter stayed behind in their home state to grieve with their family before they return to the mission field. This was their No. 1 priority at that time. (If family is not near the top of your list, it should be.)
  7. Pray. Some of you who read this blog might not pray to God, so substitute the word meditate. I pray to God for peace, comfort and guidance. If you don’t pray, at least take some time for peace and calm so that you can gain clarity.
  8. Ask for help. I’m not talking about divine help, notwithstanding Item 7. If you have a task that’s overwhelming, ask someone to help you accomplish it. As wise King Solomon said, you get a better return for your labor; a cord of three strands is not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
  9. Celebrate what you’ve already accomplished; recall the progress you’ve made – even the small stuff – and take time to appreciate it. If you have trouble remembering any of the good, ask a friend! (See Item 8.)
  10. Let go of “perfect.”

This isn’t a comprehensive list. What have I left off? (See, I’m asking for help! Leave a comment above with some of the things on your list.)

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Well, Well, Well: tips & tools 07/27/15

Posted on by Suzy Taylor Oakley
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wellwellwell3 - tips & toolsEach week I bring you three tools, tips, articles, recipes or other resources that I find useful or interesting on the journey to wellness. Feel free to suggest your own helpful hints and tips by leaving a comment (see Comment link above).

Here are this week’s three:

FEEL-GOOD STORIES

I’m a member of several blogger/writer groups on Facebook, and through one of them I was introduced recently to Rita Herrmann, whom I’m so happy to have discovered. I just like the things she writes about! (And the way she expresses her thoughts.)

Her blog is She Wears Red Shoes, and I hope you’ll visit when you have a few minutes and a good cup of tea or coffee at hand.

Meanwhile, be sure to make time for this one, which reminds us that not every convenience store clerk is a grumpy lump, despite the low pay and weird hours. If this story doesn’t give you a positive vibe, you need a tuneup.

Check it out: It’s Showtime!

FOOD/RECIPES

Dort'sVegetableBeefSoupI recently asked my mom to make some of her yummy vegetable soup, and she did not disappoint. (Food is one of the many ways she shows love to her family.)

In fact, I do believe this is the best pot of vegetable soup she’s ever served me. We discussed the reasons, as this pot was a bit different from her usual “recipe” (it’s not really a recipe; nothing is written down and the amounts are approximate).

The great thing about this soup (besides that it’s my mom’s recipe!) is that it’s nutritious and versatile. You can adapt it to suit your family’s veggie preferences and whatever’s in season. It serves a crowd, but it’s also freezable for those days you just don’t have time to cook.

Check it out: Dort’s Vegetable Beef Soup

EMOTIONAL HEALTH

I try to be emotionally strong and have worked extremely hard at that over the years. As I was scrolling through my Twitter feed, I ran across an article tweeted by Michael Hyatt. He’s good at finding tips that are insightful and practical.

In this article, the author took a to-do list and turned it on its head, making it a don’t-do list. I hope you’ll find the information as valuable as I did.

Check it out: 16 Things Emotionally Strong People Don’t Do

That’s it for this week, kids. I hope you found something useful or at least interesting. Until next time …

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The gift of shalom

Posted on by Suzy Taylor Oakley
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I’ve been restless lately.

Staying up too late. Working on blog-writing, platform-building, branding, marketing, content-producing, time-stealing stuff.

It’s all good – I love every bit of it – but it can be all-consuming, too.

It’s not so good when you realize you’ve been trying to squeeze Jesus into the cracks – those tiny slivers of space where maybe a bit of light can shine in between the piles of busyness, if you pause just a moment to notice. When maybe He’s been whispering your name but you’ve had too much mental noise to hear His call.

He tends not to shout unless He has to.

And then you start hearing the same word or message from multiple sources. I don’t believe in coincidence, so I see this phenomenon as my Maker kicking the volume up a notch, to maybe the equivalent of a stage whisper. Beats a kick in the pants.

So in a quiet moment I finally notice.

I have daily readings on my Bible App and also receive occasional emails from Christian publishers with new resources, studies, devotionals, announcements … marketing. There are times when the emails seem like mere noise, too – just more information overload in an already crowded brain.

But then one newsletter presents itself with a headline like this:

God’s Gift of Peace for Your Mind and Heart

And the word PEACE seems to SHOUT! (Ironic, no?)

I opened this one to skim and ended up reading all of it.

It began:

“Peace, shalom (shah-loam). Shalom comes from the root verb shalam, meaning ‘to be complete, perfect, and full.’ Thus shalom is much more than the absence of war and conflict; it is the wholeness that the entire human race seeks.”

That just resonated with me.

After all, this is what To Well With You is really about: my desire to help all people see their worth as His created ones and to fully realize their God-given potential. As whole, complete beings.

So when I received an email from Jen Hatmaker (I always open hers right away), I clicked a link to a post (not hers, but one she liked) with this headline:

I used to think God wanted a lot from me

“I should really volunteer at church more, lead a Bible study, organize something for the homeless. I’m the worst at this Jesus stuff. I should really be doing more for God! It’s so demanding, it takes EVERYTHING!” said the author, Sara Bessey.

But “maybe God doesn’t so much want things from us,” she said. “Maybe God actually wants things for us.”

Her conclusion was that we should …

“Run towards grace, towards shalom.” (Shalom, again.)

I love the way one of the commenters referred to Sarah’s post:

“It’s like setting aside my fifth espresso for a nice clean glass of water.”

Cool, refreshing water.

John4QuoteUnfathomable peace that satisfies like a cool, refreshing drink. This is what I wish for you today.

Shalom, y’all.

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Let’s get organized, Part 1

Posted on by Suzy Taylor Oakley
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10 ThingsLogoI should subtitle this post “10 things you need to know about me, Part 2” because I’m heeding the advice of James Altucher — “for the next ten things you write, tell people something that nobody knows about you” — and I debuted Part 1 at Suzy & Spice a few days ago.

Now that I have two blogs, a 10-part series might be a challenge (bouncing back and forth), but I’m up for it if you are.

Also, it’s going to be hard to find 10 things that absolutely no one knows about me, so how about we refer to it loosely as 10 things only the people closest to me could possibly know?

We could also title this “True Confessions,” because I’m about to talk about something I don’t like to talk about: my messy house.

I’m a recovering packrat, but I live with a full-blown packrat (I think they have TV shows about this). In 2010, we moved from a 2,600-square-foot-house to a 1,740-square-foot house. Five years later, I’m still trying to “organize” the chaos. I cannot tell you how many books we’ve gotten rid of, but we still have a ton of books.

In less than 24 hours this week, I heard three mentions of a method, an author — a “cult” (said tongue-in-cheek) — centered on “tidying.”

Except that when I asked someone in one of my Facebook groups, “I’ve read a gazillion get-organized books. Why is this one so special?” I got an unexpected response that hooked me:

“It is not really an organizing book — it is a ‘how to discard’ book. That’s what I needed — I have way way way too much stuff.”

Bruce and I have been trying to figure out how to organize our office stuff. A couple of months ago, we turned our dining room into my office (his office is the living room), and we just haven’t figured out the right configuration. Many obstacles, which also could be classified as excuses:

  • Not enough time.
  • Not the right tools.
  • We never have the same window of time to work on it together.
  • (Fill in the blank.)

I get enthusiastic about working on it, get sidetracked after a few minutes and need a nap. And I have a messy closet, too. And dresser, and bathroom countertop. Ugh!

So … obviously there is another problem.

Marie Kondo would have you believe it’s because we’re trying to organize rather than discard the excess and keep only what gives us “a spark of joy.” (She’s ruthless about papers. Uh-oh.)

I’ll do a book review next week, but let’s just say that this woman has an unconventional method for “tidying” a home. While I don’t agree with every single thing she says, I’ll buy into 98 percent of it.

It’s going to be really weird touching all my stuff and talking to it as I decide what to discard and what to keep.

But I’m keeping an open mind and will be taking up Marie Kondo’s challenge. In fact, I said on that same Facebook page:

KonMariQuoteSuzyOakleyIf you’d like to join me in the tidying madness (er, spark of joy), leave a comment and we’ll tackle it together. Doing weird stuff is more fun with friends!

Check it out: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing

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Farm2Home 2015 – for everything there is a season

Posted on by Suzy Taylor Oakley
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Farm2HomeLogoFarm2Home is going on hiatus for a while, but you can read the previous posts here, here and here.

Today’s post was supposed to be another in my Farm2Home series.

But I think I need to give the farmers a break. What was I thinking, trying to get folks to answer a bunch of questions during the growing and producing season?

I’m putting the series on hold for a while, and maybe I can get everyone caught up at a less-busy time of year. What they’re doing right now is more pressing than my questions.

I’m pondering the same thing about my other blog, Suzy & Spice, where I’ve been working on a Main Street Farmers Market (Batesville) series. One farmer has responded to my questionnaire, and, to be honest, I haven’t reminded the others that I’m waiting …

I just figured they were too busy to bother with my pesky questions, or they had forgotten. I’m not a farmer, but I know they are superbusy this time of year.

And this has been a wacky week for me, schedule-wise. You might have noticed.

I haven’t posted at the times I had set up to post regularly (Monday and Friday mornings here at To Well With You and Saturday mornings at Suzy & Spice).

It’s just been wacky.

To tell the truth, I’ve needed a mental break, and even though I’ve tried to stay true to the schedule, my brain simply hasn’t been working fast enough to stay on track. I hope you’ll forgive me.

I would say I’m mentally exhausted, but that’s not exactly true. I’m mentally tired but not near the point of exhaustion. Just dealing with a few stressors:

  • Blind dog who now needs even more attention than before (she was already high-maintenance!).
  • Plumbing problems that took 11 days to fix. And I realized last night – two weeks after the plumber came – that I had filed the bill in the PAID folder instead of mailing the check. 🙁
  • A full-time work schedule at my “day job.”
  • Trying to keep up with writing/blogging/publishing while learning how to do it all better (honing my photography skills, making my own graphics, learning about marketing and content, writing better, etc.).
  • Working on a wellness talk I’m supposed to give at the farmers market Aug. 1.
  • Working on a session I’ll be teaching at the Arkansas Women Bloggers conference at the end of August.

I really and truly love writing for my blogs, but sometimes it means I neglect other things, like spending time with my mom. I hate that. My family is the most important thing in my life besides my relationship with Jesus. (Oh, yeah: I’ve been neglecting that, too.)

One of the things on my to-do list has been to learn a new piece of software that’s supposed to help me keep up with all the irons I have in the fire. It has been a bit of a challenge just to find the time to make use of this tool!

Oh, the irony.

So when I get this way, I have to look up at my white board and see where I’ve written: REMEMBER YOUR WHY.

RememberYourWhy

Michael Hyatt says, correctly, that this – staying connected to your why – is what keeps you on track when you’re veering off course or are tempted to give up. This is absolutely true. (Here’s my why.)

I’ve read a lot lately about persevering when: 1) others think you’re crazy, 2) things get hard or 3) common sense might tell you it’s not worth it, to cut your losses and move on.

A book I’m reading says to dispense with the “lofty” terms perseverance and tenacity and go with stubbornness:

When we’re stubborn, there’s no quit in us. We’re mean. We’re mulish. We’re ornery. … We will sink our junkyard-dog teeth into Resistance’s a** and not let go, no matter how hard he kicks.”

– Steven Pressfield,
‘Do the Work: Overcome Resistance
and Get Out of Your Own Way’

 

I am nothing if not stubborn. (Right, Mom?)

So, while I’m not ready to give up, I need a break now and then. And the farmers need to keep doing what they’re doing right now. If they weren’t persistent, tenacious and stubborn – producing fresh food every season to keep me healthy – I’d be eating ramen noodles for breakfast every day. (And even the ramen noodles come from … something on a farm.)

My goal for the Farm2Home series was to showcase the farmers so that they could keep doing what they’re doing. We all need to sow when we can, harvest when it’s ripe and savor the fruits of our labor when the time is right.

Even though I need little mental breaks now and then (don’t we all?), I continue to sow and water.

Someday I’ll begin harvesting, but for now I’m still in the perseveringly tenacious stubborn phase. 🙂

Ecclesiastes3cropped2What about you? Are you planting or harvesting right now?

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Inspiring stories: Shawn Mastrantonio

Posted on by Suzy Taylor Oakley
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ShawnM_RWcoverphoto
Go to RunnersWorld.com and vote for Shawn Mastrantonio to be on the cover. You can vote every day through July 22. The link is below. Now, go!

If you’ve known me for two minutes, you know I’m a sucker for a worthy cause.

A few weeks ago, on Self-Promotion Monday (a weekly feature on the certified RRCA coaches Facebook page), Shawn Mastrantonio posted a link to a photo of him that’s in contention to be a Runner’s World cover shot.

I pounced on it: I read a little about Shawn on his Facebook page L.U.N.A.R. (Lace Up Now And Run), Liked the page and headed straight to the Runner’s World site to vote. And, because I could vote daily through July 22, I set up a calendar pop-up to remind me to vote every day until then.

Last I knew, Shawn’s photo was third overall and No. 1 in the “inspiring” category (you have to click whether you think the subject is “passionate,” “athletic” or “inspiring”).

No, Shawn and I have never met. We first crossed paths on the coaches page.

But when I see a good cause and someone asks me to vote for it, I vote. (I also vote daily for my local humane society to win cash through Shelter Challenge contests.) I feel guilty if I don’t.

But this isn’t about me. It’s about Shawn.

Here’s why I want him to be on the cover of Runner’s World:

Shawn has a rare cancer syndrome called Von Hippel-Lindau (VHL). I had never heard of it, and to raise awareness for his cause (and his RW cover), I asked him to share his story here on To Well With You.

Through illness, surgery and everything else he’s had to contend with, Shawn also BQ’d (qualified for the Boston Marathon, which has strict requirements). That is no small feat!

But I’ll let Shawn tell you the rest of the story in his own words (edited a bit for length):

“I had brain surgery in 1993 to remove a brain tumor from my right cerebellum. In December 2009, I was told that I had a tumor recurrence and two new tumors. I started running as an escape and ran my first half-marathon in 2010. I continued my running journey until I had my second brain surgery to remove one of the tumors on Jan. 31, 2012. In October 2012, I ran the Wineglass Half Marathon in Corning, N.Y., in a PR (personal record) time of 1:30.41.

I have continued running because, to me, running is a metaphor for life. In running, as in life, you gain strength from the challenges you face. Running continues to help me both physically and mentally get through the challenges of living with VHL.”

“Within my own family, I come from a legacy of VHL WARRIORS, including my dad, uncle, cousin and most recently my brother, who have lost their lives to this disease. We believe that there are other family members [who had VHL], but too little was known about the disease when they passed away.

“My dad passed away when I was 10. He passed away on May 15, 1980, my mom’s 43rd birthday. I am the administrator of a Facebook page called L.U.N.A.R. (Lace Up Now And Run), and in some of my posts and T-shirts that I design I include “5/15” to signify the date and to honor both my mom and dad.

“My brother passed away in August 2013. During his battle with VHL, he endured over 30 brain surgeries. I never once heard him complain or ask, ‘Why me?’ My dad and brother are the sources of my strength, faith and inspiration.”

What is VHL?

In this 90-second video, actor Willem Dafoe explains what VHL is.

 

And back to Shawn’s story:

“Von Hippel-Lindau is a genetic condition involving the abnormal growth of blood vessels in some parts of the body that are particularly rich in blood vessels. It is caused by a flaw in the VHL gene, on the short arm of chromosome 3, which regulates cell growth. Having an alteration in the VHL gene is what is known as a predisposition factor to certain kinds of tumors, including some specific cancers.

“I continue to get monitored for the existing two brain tumors and any new ones along with screening for my kidneys and pancreas as I currently have tumors in them, as well.

“My running journey has been such an amazing experience. It truly has given me strength and often is therapy. I have had so many great people enter my life brought together by the gift of running. These new friendships are such a blessing. My rock is my wife, Kimberly; she has encouraged and supported, and her love is never-ending. She has been there through thick and thin. She has remained strong for me in the difficult times and never left my side.

Shawn_and_Kimberly_Mastrantonio
Shawn and Kimberly Mastrantonio after his first full marathon and her first half-marathon.

“2014 was a great year of running for me as I set a new PR in the half marathon of 1:28.56, a 10-mile PR of 1:06.12 and a 5k PR of 19:00.08. I ran my first full marathon in 3:09.48, qualifying for the Boston Marathon.

“2015 started out just as well. I set a PR in the 10k of 39:56 and was feeling strong as I headed into the Seneca7, a 77.7-mile, seven-person relay around Seneca Lake in Geneva, N.Y. After completing my second leg, I suffered a ‘moderate’ heart attack. I was rushed to the hospital, and a stent was put in. The heart attack was caused by a 100 percent blockage of the right coronary artery. The heart attack put an end to my 557-day running streak, but I hope to be able to start a new streak soon. In the meantime, I am concentrating on my health and looking forward to representing the VHL community in 2016 at the Boston Marathon.”

I don’t know about you, but in my book this man still has plenty of heart.

Now, don’t you want to go cast a ballot for Shawn Mastrantonio, and maybe make a donation to the VHL Alliance in honor of him and all the other folks affected by VHL?

Now, go vote!

If you Tweet about this, please use the hashtags ‪#‎RWCoverSearch and ‪#‎VHLWarrior.

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Farm2Home 2015 – Big D Ranch in Center Ridge, Ark.

Posted on by Suzy Taylor Oakley
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Farm2HomeLogoThis is the third in a series on Farm2Home 2015. Read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

DeSalvoFamilyAtFarm2Home
Meet the DeSalvo family of Big D Ranch in Center Ridge: Phillip, Benjamin, Isabella and Beth. (Photo courtesy of Beth DeSalvo.)

When Beth DeSalvo quit her job at Petit Jean Meats in 2012 and began working on her family’s cattle ranch full time, she soon realized that she needed to go whole hog (whole cow?) in promoting the operation.

Her departure from the “corporate world” left the family with no other income source but cattle and hay, so making sure that folks knew about Big D Ranch – the place her husband’s family has called home for five generations – was going to become a part-time job in itself. (That’s in addition to the other tasks, such as keeping the books and helping out in whatever other ways she’s needed.)

A busy mom of two, she knew that if she wanted to help sustain the family’s income, she would have to take time out of all the things that go into cattle ranching and be available to educate people, show them around and talk up the virtues of locally grown, pastured beef, and of farming and ranching in general.

With all the nitty-gritty of running a cattle ranch, how does she have time for the “marketing and promotion” part of the job?

“You make time,” she said at the recent Farm2Home event at Moss Mountain Farm west of Little Rock. It’s just what local ranchers and growers have to do to raise awareness of their products. No Sam Elliott voice-overs or James Garner promos – she and her family just get out there and talk to people face to face.

And they do a great job: I stood at her table at Farm2Home, chatted with Beth and her daughter, 9-year-old-Isabella, and got a taste of what beef is supposed to taste like.

As Isabella speared a piece of grilled beef on a toothpick for me, Beth and I talked, and the conversation was as delicious as the beef.

BigDTable_Farm2Home2015

Center Ridge, Ark., population 388 (as of 2010 census).
Center Ridge, Ark., population 388 (as of 2010 census).

When you engage with someone who is as passionate as Beth is about her “job,” you lose track of time. This matriarch of the 2012 Arkansas Farm Family of the Year (which also includes Phillip’s dad, Tony) takes her role so seriously that she travels from the ranch in Center Ridge, Ark., to farmers markets and events such as Farm2Home as an evangelist for the virtues of buying locally grown, healthful foods.

“I believe by buying local you are commending your local farmers and ranchers on what they do every day,” she said in answer to my follow-up questions after Farm2Home. “Farmers and ranchers work hard to provide food for consumers, and it is very rewarding to be able share that with our neighbors.”

I asked Beth why she wanted to participate in Farm2Home.

I think it is very important to get out to tell our story. I feel that consumers want to know where their food comes from, and we the farmers and ranchers want the consumers to feel safe about what we provide for their families. The best way to do that is let people know what you are doing and how you do it.”

It’s so important to the DeSalvos that they take their beef outside the local area on weekends to sell and promote. Look for them at the Conway Farmers Market at the Antioch Baptist Church and at the Argenta Farmers Market in downtown North Little Rock. (The Argenta market is where I used to do my “shop local” socializing when Bruce and I lived in North Little Rock. I miss it!)

Ben&IsabellaAtArgenta
Ben and Isabella DeSalvo at the Argenta Farmers Market in downtown North Little Rock, Ark. (Photo courtesy of Beth DeSalvo.)

As Phillip and Beth raise the sixth generation at Big D, they support Ben (age 11) and Isabella’s participation in the Nemo Vista Pioneers 4-H Club, and Beth says the family is “very active” at the county fair. That’s evident by the photos she emailed me (I didn’t use them all). Phillip and Beth are active members in the Arkansas Cattlemen’s Association and the National Cattlemen’s Beef Association, and no doubt their children are future members of those organizations.

Both kiddos know how to win prizes at the county fair. Take a look:

Cow&BenWithRibbon
Ben and his heifer Big Momma took Reserve Grand Champion honors last year at the Conway County Fair. (Photo courtesy of Beth DeSalvo.)
Cow&Isabella
Isabella and Betsy took home Pee Wee Showmanship honors at last year’s county fair, and Izzy also won Grand Champion with her turkeys. (Photo courtesy of Beth DeSalvo.)

Arkansas is fortunate to have folks like Tony, Phillip and Beth DeSalvo, who are raising their young’uns to know the value of hard work and the importance of supporting your neighbors as they work hard, too. They’re the ones who feed us, my friends. Or at least they should be.

As often as you can, buy local. You’ll be helping your neighbors and yourself. (And try some beef from the DeSalvos. It’s “The Better Beef to Eat!”)

All right, one last picture. This image makes me think of a photo in one of the Pioneer Woman’s cookbooks. I bet Beth DeSalvo swoons every time she looks at this picture of her man and her boy walking hand-in-hand on their family’s land.

Ladies, wouldn’t you?

Ben&PhillipFromBehindWithCows
(Photo courtesy of Beth DeSalvo.)

Big D Ranch
173 Miller Ln.
Center Ridge, AR 72027 (northern Conway County)
(501) 208-6120 (Beth’s cell)
Website: Bigdranch.net
Twitter: @bigdranch1
Facebook: Big D Ranch or Beth Rohlman DeSalvo
Instagram: BIG_D_RANCH

Stay tuned for Part 4 next Friday. Meanwhile, I’d like to publish a healthful recipe for Monday’s post. Suggestions?

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